Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
