if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
