im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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