In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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