hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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