I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
i think my cat just said my name.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
