Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
4 words: hood of his car
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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