brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
