Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
