# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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