D3 body, D1 cock
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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