I bet he comes in French.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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