i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
