He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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