He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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