Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize