Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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