yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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