p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
