who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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