He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
