Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize