using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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