come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
