So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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