and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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