Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize