i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
