sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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