Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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