who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
