Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
