So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
