he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
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listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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