so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
