Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dignity is for republicans.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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