To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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