Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize