Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
