you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
