I think I am morally bankrupt
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
