Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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