I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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