you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
