Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
