i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
