And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
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I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
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Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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