Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
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i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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