Are we in a gay sports bar?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm bleeding and have questions
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
