He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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