Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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