Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
