i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
where are my eyebrows?
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