Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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