There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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