i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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